What can you expect from counseling?
Because this counseling is solution focused and short term in
nature, you will see changes right away, not weeks from now.
We create a treatment plan together with your most pressing needs in mind. As you experience improvement, make changes and gain hope, you will develop the courage to go after new
goals and dreams.
Both couples and individuals will leave therapy with the skills and tools to maintain their progress and have strategies in place to help them continually improve their lives going forward.
Whether you work on increasing your self esteem, improving your relationship skills, setting boundaries, decreasing your anxiety, overcoming depression, defeating food
addiction, working through grief and loss or another
issue, therapy will help you change, gain confidence and advance with certainty.
Most couples and individuals want to strengthen and improve their relationships and learn the skills to do so.
Sometimes both partners come to therapy, other times only one partner comes. Either way learning relationship skills is necessary to create a satisfying and enduring relationship.
When clients finish their treatment plan, typically they have created together the kind of relationship they want. They have built a relationship that they feel is fair and meets their basic needs of companionship, support, affection and physical and emotional intimacy.
Some of the changes clients make are:
Myers Briggs Personality Style
Clients have learned about their individual Myers Briggs personality style. They have learned about their similarities and differences as a couple and have built a more satisfying relationship given their own specific personality differences.
Clients have created a Relationship Vision which includes each partner's needs, wants, boundaries and non-negotiables. They review their Relationship Vision periodically and revise it as needed.
Clients have learned to use “I” statements, and have
stopped using accusatory “you” statements. Clients use “I” statements in an effective manner. They become familiar with their own personal needs and are effective in communicating them clearly and kindly. Each partner works with his/her partner to get what they want out of the relationship.
Each partner is familiar with his or her own values and is effective in setting boundaries and implementing and enforcing consequences when his or her boundaries are violated.
Four Harmful Patterns
Each partner is good at identifying and stopping the destructive patterns of escalation, invalidation, withdrawal, avoidance and misinterpretation.
Speaker Listener Technique
Each partner has learned a positive way of discussing sensitive subjects, and a positive way of making decisions together by using all components of the Speaker-Listener Technique: mirroring, validation, and connecting with empathy.
Each partner is able to identify and remove harmful communication filters that block healthy interaction.
Each partner is able to identify his or her current level of communication and works diligently to move to the next communication level.
Conflict Resolution & Problem Solving Skills
Each partner knows and uses the components of problem solving: problem discussion, setting agendas, agreement, compromise, follow up and acceptance.
Caring Behavior Lists
Each partner takes responsibility to communicate what he or
she wants and needs to thrive in their relationship. Each
partner begins doing caring behaviors that make his or
her partner feel loved and cared for. They both start creating together a conscious, loving, supportive relationship.
Imago Therapy-Constructing My Imago
Clients construct a personal Imago and understand
the unconscious agenda he or she brings to relationships
and works to correct that. Clients understand the
reason behind his or her dysfunctional behavior, and understands why he or she chooses to get into or continue in a power struggle with others.
Imago Therapy-Understanding Childhood Hurts
Clients learn the frustrations, unfulfilled desires and deepest fears from childhood that make up the unresolved
issues with his or her parents. Clients understand the unresolved issues and agenda from his or her past that he or she brings to relationships and works to correct them.
Making Behavior Change Requests
Each partner becomes aware of his or her frustrations with
the other and the unmet childhood needs behind them. Each partner becomes effective asking the other to change his or
her negative behavior. As each partner receives mutual
healing, they as a couple can finally move past the power struggle into the final stages of a conscious relationship.
Each partner identifies and corrects their own gender-related issues that are causing problems in their relationship. Each partner knows the expectations and gender-related needs his
or her partner has and puts in place strategies to meet them.
Creating Ongoing Fun & Friendship
Each partners knows the barriers to fun and friendship hindering their relationship, and guards and protects the relationship from these barriers.
Enhancing Affection & Sexuality
Each partner is effective at keeping anxiety, conflict and
anger from inhibiting their sexual relationship. Each
partner is able to communicate in ways that protect,
enhance and make the physical and sexual relationship fun, vibrant and satisfying.
Making a Surprise List
Each partner compiles a surprise list of his or her partner hidden wishes and dreams, and periodically does those things.
Develop Key Traits as a Life Partner
Each partner works on and develops key character traits in
him or herself to make him or herself a strong partner capable of building a healthy and satisfying relationship.
Self Awareness Evaluation
Each partner is aware of his/her level of self awareness and maturity, and works to increase it.
Maintenance Plan—Strategy Going Forward
Clients have a plan to maintain the growth and maturity
achieved in therapy (weekend seminars, online courses,
reading books together, etc)
To learn how clients benefited from Couples Counseling
To learn how clients benefited from Individual Counseling click here
Are you struggling? Do you need to talk to someone?
If something is not right, don't delay...contact me